Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
