oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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