I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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