It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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