i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
