i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
