god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
