you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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