I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
