and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
