i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
