I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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