I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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