what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
