Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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