Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
