I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
