There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
