I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
