Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
