I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
