did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
