Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
