good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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