I will die if light touches me.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
