Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
