I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize