He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
