Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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