Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
