Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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