he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who died my cat blue again?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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