those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
