mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
