I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
