So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
