when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Drunk is not a location!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
