"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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