i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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