What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
