i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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