smell my finger.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
