My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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