It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
