are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
