honey bunches of taint.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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