Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
