Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
