im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
