I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
