Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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