i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
