i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
