Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
