Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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