Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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