belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
