DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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