I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
