We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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