Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i out mim tonsoeep
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
