I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
