Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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