The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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