He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize