omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
