I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
