My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This baby is an asshole
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
