But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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