Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
