i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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