I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
