KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
