i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
