I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
