Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
